Reclaiming Peace: A Peace Series Novella Read online

  “He was as serious as the heart attack that killed my dad,” Dexie whispered emotionally, her voice rough and low. “I was alone, scared shitless, and I had no idea what to do.”

  “You could have come to me.”

  “Could I? And take the chance that Brent or BJ would do something terrible to you or your family? Or take out his threat against my mom? I couldn’t risk it. I just… I couldn’t.”

  Dray fell silent, as though, once again, processing her words. With her heart hammering in her chest in residual horror and her body restless from her continued fear for the people she cared about, she stood and cleared the dirty plates. Dexie noticed the persistent and violent tremors in her hands as she began preparing the dessert plates. After cutting the cake, she placed a large slice of the rich, dark, fudge cake onto a plate, followed by a much smaller one onto a second plate. Retrieving the mousse, she added a large dollop to each slice of cake then spooned fresh sugared strawberries over both.

  “I hope you still like chocolate and strawberries,” Dexie murmured as she placed the plate with the larger serving in front of Dray, a mournful smile tugging at her lips.

  “I do. They’re still my secret addiction.” Dray admitted with a grin. “Thank you.”

  Dexie placed a clean fork at his place then resumed her own seat with her plate. Dray took a bite and moaned, lifting her spirits and her smile.

  “Oh my god, Dexie. This is divine.” He praised. The pure, warm sincerity of his words was a powerful ally, bolstering her confidence and determination to reclaim her life in Peace.

  “So, where did you go?” Dray asked after a short silence. “When you left.”

  “BJ had Alan Burke drive me to Billings and leave me at the airport. I think he meant for me to fly out of the state and never return, but I couldn’t bear the idea of being so far away from Mom. I took a taxi from the airport and spent the night at the Sheraton. I had all that cash, so I rented a small apartment on the west side of Billings… it’s part of a four-plex, actually. Rosie owned the building and lived in apartment one. Her son, Ivan, and his wife live in number two. I rented number three, next door to Rosie… or, in all reality, I moped in number three. I’d have a different life if it hadn’t been for Rosie.”

  “Rosie?”

  “Rose Anna Davenport. She literally changed my life and perspective. Rosie was seventy-three and widowed. She watched out for me and Ivan watched out for her.”

  “How did she change everything?”

  “I’d been in Billings for about three months and I was homesick and heartsick. I missed everything about Peace, I missed you and Mom…” Dexie sighed. “I’d just gotten off the phone with Mom and was sitting on the front steps of the building sobbing my eyes out. Rosie came out and we started talking. I was so desperately lonely and alone and miserable. She just held me and listened while I spilled my guts. I told her everything and she let me be a complete mess. Rosie invited me into her place for dinner and we talked most of the night. She asked me why I wasn’t making the most of my situation and I must have looked at her like she’d lost her marbles because she cackled at me.

  “Rosie said if BJ was going to be a daft bastard… her words, mind you… and throw money at me left, right, and center, then I should spend it with equal abandon. I told her I was afraid the credit card was a trap and if it wasn’t then I was afraid that either BJ or Brent would use it to track me down and hurt me. Rosie thought about it for a while and I swear the devil was in that woman’s eyes. She asked me if the card allowed cash withdrawals. I had no idea, so she had me check. I have never been so certain the cops were going to arrest me as I was the night I went to the ATM and checked. Rosie cackled again when I not only didn’t get arrested but could make cash withdrawals.

  “She sat me down that night and told me to fly away. Go somewhere… anywhere I wanted, it didn’t matter where… and take out enough money to live on for at least a month plus at least another twenty-five percent for ‘incidentals’ she called them. She explained that if the Harrington’s were watching my transactions to find out where I was, it would show me far from Billings, giving me a bit of protection. Then Rosie said I should rent a safe deposit box or use a locker at the airport or the like to store the cell phone I’d left here with to keep them from tracking the GPS on it.

  “With Rosie’s devious plotting, I haven’t had to look over my shoulder because the phone stayed on the eastern side of the country and all of the withdrawals were done from there as well. Every so often there would be a message on the cell phone from BJ reminding me that if I came back to Peace what they’d do. I’d hoped when BJ died that Brent would be unaware of BJ’s threat but within days of me finding out about it, there was a message from Brent, no less threatening or horrifying.”

  “Do you still have those messages?” Dray asked with a scowl.”

  “Yes. They’re still on the phone and it’s in Portland, Maine right now.”

  “Good. After what Brent did earlier, I think it’s best to have it here as proof that he has been trying to hurt you for years.”

  Dexie stared at him for a long moment before nodding.

  “So you’ve been in Billings all this time? Just living next door to Rosie and using Harrington money?”

  “Yep. Ivan was worried about my growing attachment to Rosie until she explained everything. He was ready to sue the Harrington’s but I think Rosie talked him out of it because of my fear for Mom. Eventually, Ivan convinced me to start withdrawing four or five times what I actually needed and begin investing the extra in case the Harrington’s figured out what I was doing and cut off access to the card. I have a tidy sum saved and invested and I still live in the same four-plex even though Rosie died several years ago. Ivan took over ownership and he watches out for me like Rosie used to.”

  Dexie breathed deeply as she finally finished explaining then reached for the bottle of wine. Dray covered his glass and shook his head at her silent offer for more so she emptied the bottle recklessly into her glass.

  “That sounds like a complete pain in the ass,” Dray finally said.

  “It was awful at first, but after a while, I kind of liked it. About eight months after I left Peace, I found out that Rosie had always wanted to see Australia but had never gotten to go. I decided then that she and I should see the world. I didn’t want to go alone and it thrilled Rosie. We traveled all over the place before she died. Her last words to me were that I should follow my passions and use my situation to fuel them. I’d already traveled so I spent the last few years investing in my education. I have no debt and have used cash to get it.”

  “Did you get that tattoo traveling the world?”

  Dexie smiled at the thought of her tattoo even as Dray flushed embarrassedly. She loved her tattoo and everything it meant. And it was much more impressive than Dray’s limited view had shown.

  “You didn’t even see all of my Ryn,” she smirked.

  “You named your tattoo?” he scowled, causing her to snicker.

  “No. The Irezumi master who did my work shared with me the lore of the Ryn, which is their word for that dragon.”

  “Irezumi?”

  “Un-huh. It’s the traditional Japanese tattooing of Tebori and the master uses wooden tools with the needles attached with silk.”

  “Oh,” Dray winced as Dexie smiled. “Didn’t that hurt?”

  “Yes, but it was absolutely worth it. After I convinced him to work on me, we spent a considerable amount of time discussing what attributes my Ryn should have. I finally chose the eyes of a cat, the talons of the eagle, and the scales of the koi. There is so much symbolism to my Ryn and the Botan, which are the peonies surrounding the Ryn. He even agreed to use traditional ink…” Dexie explained enthusiastically.

  “Yeah, TMI,” Dray scowled as he cut her off holding his hand up.

  “You don’t like tattoos?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about them. But I never would have pegged you as having
one. You used to be a lot more modest.”

  “Dray, when you’ve seen the bodies of children lying mangled in the street after a suicide bomber attacked their school, or held a twelve-year-old girl after she’d been raped and brutalized, or witnessed the horror of people who know no other life than that of a slave, the human body stops being a focus. There are victims who are tortured daily, but never speak up because the burden of proof is on them and the repercussions that face them are severe. Like I said before, I have nothing different from every other woman in this world, just as you are no different from every other man, anatomically speaking. Granted you’re put together in a better looking package than lots of men but you’re still just a human male. It’s the mind and heart that make a person noteworthy.”

  “You’re very profound. And while, deep down, I know you’re right, it takes a bit of adjusting to alter the perceptions you’ve grown up with.”

  “I know. Believe me, it was jarring the first few times I experienced the brutality of humanity aside from Brent. It was because of this that I chose the Ryn and Botan for my tattoo. That an actual Irezumi master took the time to give it makes it more meaningful.”

  “How so?”

  “Irezumi takes years to master and tattooing is still considered taboo in much of Japan. It took me over a year to find a master and garner an invitation to meet him. Then I had to convince him to actually do the tattoo. By the time he’d finished, I’d spent more than a year in Japan and done a considerable amount of soul searching. It was difficult, at first, learning to cope with the horrors I’d witnessed and learning to be comfortable with me. I’d already lost Rosie and was struggling. When I left Japan, my perspective was so different. I think it actually made coming back here easier… like I know what I have to do and just have to be patient.”

  “You say so much, and I just can’t seem to process it, Dex,” Dray finally said after a long, thoughtful pause. Dexie smiled sadly as she fought the urge to just curl up into a ball and sob. How could she ever explain her life to him now that she’d lived such a different life from his? How could they ever find that comfort zone they’d once shared? “Did you find anyone special in your never-ending adventure?”

  “I found a lot of extraordinary people in my travels. But, if that was your way of asking if I’m dating or married, the answer is no. You? Anyone special wondering why you’re with a ghost from your past tonight?”

  “Nope. I loved someone once, but she didn’t feel the same way.”

  “I’m sorry, Dray,” Dexie sighed as her heart shattered a bit more.

  “I survived,” Dray shrugged. “I’ve spent the last ten years missing you, Dexie. But now, it feels like I don’t even know you anymore.”

  “I’m still me. I’ve just been able to live that crazy dream we had.”

  “Yeah. And, by comparison, I’ve done nothing. I feel like I should have done so much more with my life.”

  “Dray, were you happy with your life before I showed up and started stirring the shit pot?” Dexie asked softly.

  “Relatively. I don’t really have a life. I take care of Dad and I work. I come here and hide on the nights Charlee stays with Dad because then I don’t have to deal with anything or anyone.” Dray admitted with a shrug.

  “Nothing like going through the motions,” Dexie grimaced. “What would you do if you weren’t tied down with work and your Dad?”

  “I don’t know. You and I always had such big plans to leave Peace and travel. Go to college out of state and make something of our lives. Remember, we were going to come back here for our ten year reunion and see who’d traveled farther and done more?”

  “I do remember,” Dexie breathed as the ache in her heart threatened to steal the last of her will.

  “You did that. You traveled. You saw the world… you…” Dray scowled.

  “Sure I did that shit. And I wanted more than anything to be right here in Peace.”

  “But I did none of it. I left long enough to go to the law enforcement academy then came right back here. I’ve got absolutely nothing to show for the last ten years.”

  “Nor have I. I haven’t got a life. No job or career. No family. No home. I have a place that I crash at. There’s no pictures on the walls. No knick-knacks. No warmth. It’s cold and sterile, like a hotel room without the maid service. You have a great job that is important. You save lives and shit.”

  “It’s not the same, Dexie. You’ve had experiences that no one in this two-bit town will ever have… seen things that changed you.”

  “Sure and been utterly miserable the entire time. If you hate your life so much, why don’t you shake things up? Move away, do something different.”

  “I can’t do that. Someone needs to take care of Dad and keep the property up, and…”

  “And wow, you’ve sold yourself a shitload of excuses. Rosie told me that life is what you make it and you get out of it exactly what you put into it. She once said that her greatest regret in life was that she hadn’t done more in her youth when she’d had the time and energy to travel, explore, and embrace her passions.”

  “I wish it was that simple, but it isn’t.”

  “It is if you make it that way, Dray. You’re allowed a life and you don’t need to neglect your responsibilities. You just need to reallocate your priorities.”

  “Thank you for that fifty dollar bullshit phrase,” Dray snapped. “But not everyone has unlimited funds to gallivant around the world with.”

  He stood and strode to the fireplace, clutching the mantel with a white-knuckled grip. Dexie stared at his broad back, shocked that he’d gotten angry so quickly. She couldn’t remember Dray ever having lost his temper, even as a teen. For reasons she couldn’t begin to fathom, she felt utterly responsible for the changes she found in the man she’d always called her best friend.

  “I didn’t mean to make you angry. Please forgive me.” Dexie murmured. Restlessness and a soul-deep sorrow shimmied over her and settled miserably on her shoulders. Seeking an outlet for the nerves that were slowly lowering her into the darkest of recesses of her mind, Dexie stood and began clearing the table. Looking in the cupboard under the sink, she found a deep rectangular plastic bucket and placed it in the sink, turning the hot water on and pouring soap into it. With a heavy heart and a chasm deeper than the Grand Canyon between herself and Dray, she put the dirty dishes into the bucket.

  Trying to keep her hands busy and her mind silent, Dexie started washing the dishes, rinsing them, then placing them in the dishrack to dry. Why she’d pressed her philosophy of life on Dray, she didn’t know. She had no room to judge his life or priorities when she’d never stood up to BJ or Brent, even when her mother begged on her death bed.

  “Which priority do I reallocate?” Dray asked quietly as he moved to stand beside her, picking up a drying towel and a clean plate. “The people I love? The job that pays my bills? My home?”

  Tears flooded Dexie’s eyes and she shook her head as she shrugged dejectedly.

  “You should probably start with the assholes who show up out of nowhere, who haven’t been very good friends and make you feel like shit for being responsible,” she breathed as a tear slipped slowly down her cheek.

  She dropped her chin to her chest and squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to rein in her growing heartache. Every part of her missed Dray’s friendship and the knowledge that he stood right there, next to her, unapproachable in his anger and hurt because of her own insensitive words was another crushing blow to her heart. There had been a time when she could have said anything to him and never worried about hurting him. A time when they had had the same dreams and desires.

  “Aw, Dex,” Dray sighed. “I’m sorry.”

  “No, Dray. I shouldn’t be judging you or your life. I shouldn’t be so pushy with my opinions. I know nothing of your life here in Peace, other than I’m a bit jealous.”

  “I shouldn’t have gotten pissy. I’m still trying to process and understand everything you’ve s
aid and I’m just having a hell of a time with it all.”

  “I didn’t mean to…” Dexie whispered morosely.

  “Dexie, I asked. I figured something terrible had sent you away, but…” Dray paused, then sighed. “But I just didn’t expect you to tell me that. And I wish you’d come to me. I would have helped if I could.”

  “Dray…”

  “No, I understand, I do. I just wish.”

  Tears slipped from Dexie’s closed eyes when she felt Dray put his warm hand on her shoulder. She wanted to beg him for forgiveness, to be told that he didn’t hate her for letting BJ and Brent dictate her life. Yet, knowing that he was still speaking to her was more than she felt she deserved. The fear that she may not be able to follow through with her plans, that she might fail in regaining her life, overwhelmed her. In spite of Dray’s touch and proximity, Dexie knew only isolation and loneliness.

  “I thought about trying to sneak back into town, but I was a coward,” Dexie admitted in a low, hoarse voice that betrayed her emotional turmoil. The ache of loss and desolation that had tormented her every day for the last ten years intensified as Dray’s hand slid around her shoulders, turning her into his solid chest.

  His embrace was an agony unlike anything she’d ever known. He was there, comforting her, yet so utterly untouchable. Dexie’s body began to quake as she fought her growing heartache and she snaked her arms around his waist, holding onto him for dear life. If there was a heaven on this earth, it must be there in the safety and warmth of Dray’s arms and she never wanted to leave this haven.

  “I have missed you so much,” Dray murmured, his arms tightening a fraction. Dexie’s battle with her soul-crushing emotions became the impossible fight and she buried her head in his chest. The dam holding her grief back broke and with a gasp of agony, tears flooded from her eyes.

  “Oh god, Dray…” she whimpered. Vaguely, Dexie heard him speaking but his voice was drowned out by her misery and sorrow. As her tears slowed and finally came to a stop, she felt worn and tattered. When Dray gave her arms a gentle rub then stepped back, Dexie was left shivering at the loss of his warmth.